Trust is the basis of every relationship with others. And there is only one way to obtain it: to accumulate it gradually during one or multiple interrelationships. Even trust has its origin in ontological traumatic traces. That is, in maternal and paternal care in early childhood, when the vulnerable baby needs protection and care, what Winnicott called “trust in the environment,” in which children need to believe in that environment and in those people who act as a mirror in which to look at themselves.
In adulthood, trust is generated when we place others in a place of knowing and entrusting them with something. It can be our secrets, belongings, lights, or shadows. The recipient of our trust can be a friend, someone close to us, or our partner. Even we can be the recipients of faith in ourselves -self-confidence- when we convince ourselves that we can fulfill a certain responsibility or successfully carry out an activity we have set out to do.
Neither we nor anyone else can be trustworthy if, by trust, we mean that future behaviors can be predicted because they cannot be predicted. Full confidence does not exist. What could be given is a relative level of trust based on what primary drives predominate and the quality of the bonds of love in our childhood, which will generate confidence in one’s ability to believe in oneself, thus achieving a good level of self-esteem to achieve what one desire. Those who trust in themselves are more likely to trust in others.
Establishing trust with the other or with our partner is not easy, especially when in the past, we have yet to select a satisfactory relational bond with parents or guardians of our trusted environment. Although in adulthood, this can be built with work and therapy. Just like love, trust is made. It is learned to trust. Confidence must be confirmed and reaffirmed throughout the relationship, but it can also be lost. The longer the relationship lasts, the more trust is a fundamental value on the rise. You trust others when you think they are not cheating or lying. And it is one of the dissatisfactions that produces the most dissatisfaction and mostly affects the couple’s relationship. In addition to self-esteem, commitment, and respect are constitutive factors of trust in a couple’s relationship. And many and varied elements can be found in this social bond, such as interests, agreements, contracts, or pacts, among others.
A trust manages risk, uncertainty, and expectations and requires that one of the parties presents itself as vulnerable to the other. It is important to position the other in the couple’s relationship as the repository of our trust because, with this action, we are placing a certain degree of responsibility on the other, which they must take responsibility for, trusting until they do something that shows you can no longer do it.
Mutual trust is the foundation of every relationship and a central element of every social bond. When confidence fails, the connection disintegrates. And perhaps for this reason, second chances rarely work after a breakup where what has failed is neither the lack of love, nor a third person, nor boredom… things that are sometimes inevitable, but the trust placed in the other, a feeling of betrayal that can leave a person marked for life and continue to feed the distrust not only in the one who did the damage but of other people in the future.
Leave a Comment